Lawak Oh Lawak

haaa.. ni dia tips paling cun utk pilih bini.. Nak Pandai = Cari isteri cikgu Nak sihat = Cari isteri doktor Nak kaya = Cari isteri anak tan sri Nak glamour = Cari isteri artis Nak gaduh = Cari isteri samseng Nak sembang = Cari isteri penceramah Nak alim = Cari isteri ustazah Nak gemuk = Cari isteri chef Nak selamat = Cari isteri polis Nak stylo = Cari isteri kaki shopping NAK MAMPUS = Cari isteri muda yg 1 ofis dgn isteri tua… ----------------------------------- haaa.. this is the best tips to choose a wife To be clever = Find a teacher wife To be healthy = Find a doctor wife To be rich = Search for the tan sri's daughter To be glamor = Find an artist wife To be rowdy = Look up the hooligan wife To be chat = Find the wife of the speaker To be alim = Find a ustazah wife To be fat = Find a chef wife To be safe = Find a police wife To be stylo = Search for shopaholic wife To be DIE = Find a young wife who is an office with an old wife...

A : Ko bila nak kawin? B : Ko tanyer nape? Nak sponsor? AHAHAAH Tanyer lagi.. padan muka ko kan... sebok je tanyer hal org.. hal ko aku tak tanyer pun -- kata si polan. --------------- A: When do you marry? B: You ask why? Sponsored? AHAHAAH Ask again.. match your face ... just tell me what people say .. I asked myself - said the polan.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher ------------ GURU: Harold, apa yang anda panggil orang yang terus bercakap ketika orang tidak lagi berminat? HAROLD: Seorang guru

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. ----------- GURU: Clyde, komposisi anda pada 'Anjing Saya' adalah sama seperti saudara lelaki anda. Adakah anda menyalinnya? CLYDE: Tidak, tuan. Ia adalah anjing yang sama.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. -------------------------------------------------------------------- GURU: Sekarang, Simon, beritahu saya terus terang, adakah anda mengatakan doa sebelum makan? SIMON: Tiada tuan, saya tidak perlu, ibu saya adalah tukang masak yang baik.

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ---------------------------------------------------------------- GURU: George Washington bukan sahaja memotong pokok ceri ayahnya, tetapi juga mengakuinya. Sekarang, Louie, adakah anda tahu mengapa ayahnya tidak menghukumnya? LOUIS: Kerana George masih mempunyai kapak di tangannya.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ---------------- GURU: Millie, beri saya hukuman bermula dengan 'I.' MILLIE: saya .. GURU: Tidak, Millie ..... Sentiasa katakan, 'Saya.' MILLIE: Baiklah ... 'Saya adalah huruf kesembilan abjad.'

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ------------------------------------------------------------- GURU: Glen, kenapa kamu selalu jadi kotor? GLEN: Nah, saya jauh lebih dekat dengan tanah daripada anda.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! ----------------- GURU: Winnie, namakan satu perkara penting yang kita ada hari ini bahawa kita tidak mempunyai sepuluh tahun yang lalu. WINNIE: Saya!

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. -------------------------------------------------- GURU: Donald, apakah formula kimia untuk air? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. GURU: Apa yang anda cakapkan? DONALD: Semalam anda berkata ia adalah H kepada O.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria.