Lawak Oh Lawak

Dua orang budak bernama Farid dan Arif pergi berjumpa dengan doktor. Doktor : Apa masalahnya? Demam ke? Farid    : Saya tertelan guli. Doktor : Kamu pula apa masalahnya? (Tanya doktor kepada Arif) Arif       : Saya sedang menunggu guli saya. ----------------------- Two boys named Farid and Arif went to see a doctor. Doctor: What's the problem? Do you have a fever? Farid: I swallowed a marble. Doctor: What's your problem? (The doctor asked Arif) Arif: I'm waiting for my marble.

 Kisah ini berlaku di sebuah sekolah, dalam kelas tingkatan 3A sewaktu mata pelajaran sejarah. Aisyah (cikgu yang bertugas) meminta MAT (salah seorang anak muridnya) untuk menjawab soalannya. CIKGU : MAT, di mana terletaknya negara Jepun? MAT     : Di sini cikgu, (sambil menunjuk pada peta) CIKGU : Bagus MAT. Sekarang, giliran kamu Hadi. Siapakah yang menjumpai negara Jepun? HADI   : MAT cikgu! (Jawab Hadi dengan penuh yakin)… P/s: Kelas yang tadi sunyi terus riuh-rendah dengan gelak ketawa.. Hahaha -------------------------- This story takes place in a school, in a Form 3A class during history class. Aisyah (the teacher on duty) asked MAT (one of her students) to answer her question. TEACHER: MAT, where is Japan? MAT: Here teacher, (pointing to the map) TEACHER: Good MAT. Now, it's your turn Hadi. Who discovered Japan? HADI: MAT teacher! (Hadi answered confidently)… P/s: The class that had been quiet just now was bursting with laughter.. Hahaha

 cA: dari pagi tadi aku makan tak kenyang2 je? cB: kau makan ape? cA: makan angin............................... ----------------------------------- cA: I haven't eaten enough since this morning? cB: what are you eating? cA: eat the wind...................................

Cikgu: Encik,anak awak didapati meniru Ali dalam exam. Bapa: Apa bukti awak? Cikgu: Encik tengok soalan nombor 4 nie. Siapakah menemui Pulau Pinang? Seman tulis "Saya tak tahu"dan anak encik tulis "Kalau engkau tak tahu, aku lagi la tak tahu". ------------------------------------ Teacher: Sir, your son was found to have copied Ali in the exam. Father: What is your proof? Teacher: Sir, look at question number 4. Who discovered Penang? Seman wrote "I don't know" and your son wrote "If you don't know, I don't know either".

Ayah: Apasal B.I kamu nie asyik dapat kosong jer...! Apasal hah? Anak: Eh, ayah! Tu bukan kosong. Tadi cikgu adik dah kasi bintang banyak kat bebudak lain. Ada dapat 5 bintang la, 4 bintang la. Bila giliran adik jer, bintang dah abis. Sebab tu cikgu bagi kat adik bulan. -------------------------------------- Father: Why do you always get zero B.I...! Why? Son: Eh, father! That's not zero. Earlier, the teacher gave a lot of stars to other children. Some got 5 stars, some got 4 stars. When it was your turn, the stars were gone. That's why the teacher gave you the moon.

Man: Bapa aku hebat. Dia polis. Semua orang takut ngan dia. Ali: Eleh, bapa aku lagi terer. Kalau dia suruh orang tunduk, mesti orang tu tunduk. Man: Wow! Bapa kau keja apa? Ali: Tukang gunting rambut. ----------------------------------------- Man: My father is great. He's a policeman. Everyone is afraid of him. Ali: No, my father is still terrified. If he tells people to bow, they must bow. Man: Wow! What is your father doing? Ali: Barber.

3 org menaiki motor dan ditahan polis trafik.  Namun pemandu motor tersebut tidak berhenti.  Katanya, 'Tak Muat Dah Tok, Kami dah bertiga !!!  --------------------------------------- 3 people got on a motorbike and were stopped by the traffic police.  But the motorbike driver didn't stop.  He said, 'Not Enough, Tok, We're already three!!!

Aderla sorang lelaki datang ke sebuah rumah untuk meminta derma.  Derma untuk rumah orang-orang tua. seorang budak pun membuka pintu.  budak  : derma ape bang?  lelaki : derma untuk rumah orang-orang tua. adik ada apa-apa untuk didermakan?  budak  : nanti jap.saya ambilkan atuk saya.  lelaki : ?????  -------------------------------- A man came to a house to ask for donations.  Donations for the old people's home. A boy opened the door.  boy: What kind of donation?  man: Donations for the old people's home. Do you have anything to donate?  boy: Later. I'll get my grandfather.  man: ?????

 Pada satu petang, si ibu membawa anaknye berusia 4 thn bersiar2.  Menaiki kete. Dlm perjalanan si ibu membunyikan hon.  Anak : Naper ibu bunyikan hon & saper org tu?  Ibu  : Tu sedara kiter, kenalah hormat.  Dlm perjalanan mereka seterusnya mereka terserempak dgn seekor lembu yg nak melintas lalu si ibu membunyikan hon.  Anak : Itupun sedara kiter jugak ke???  ---------------------------------------- One afternoon, the mother took her 4 year old son for a walk.  They rode in a carriage. During the journey, the mother honked the horn.  Child: Why did you honk and who was that person?  Mother: They are our relatives, please respect them.  On their journey, they came across a cow that was wanting to cross, so the mother honked the horn.  Child: Is that our relative too???

SUAMI  : KENAPA SAYANG MENANGIS?  ISTERI : SAYA TELAH BACA SEBUAH BUKU. SAD ENDING LAH BANG...  SUAMI  : BUKU APA?  ISTERI : BUKU BANK ABANGLAH....  ------------------------------------------- HUSBAND: WHY ARE YOU CRYING?  WIFE: I HAVE READ A BOOK. SAD ENDING LAH BANG...  HUSBAND: WHAT BOOK?  WIFE: YOUR BANK BOOK LAH, ....

 Di dalam sebuah bas duduk seorang pemuda dan seorang nenek. Si nenek memicit-micit kepalanya. “Kenapa nie nek. Pening ya,” tanya pemuda tersebut. “Ya nak, rasanya kepala pening, perut mual, rasa macam nak muntah,” jawab nenek. “Oh, ya nak, bolehkah nenek melihat muka kamu sebentar.” Pemuda itu terkejut tapi kemudian tersenyum,”Boleh nek, tapi kenapa?” Si nenek menjawab,”Biar muntahnya lebih cepat.” ---------------------------------------------------------- In a bus sat a young man and an old woman. The old woman was squeezing her head. “Why is this, aunt? Are you dizzy,” asked the young man. “Yes, son, I feel dizzy, my stomach is sick, I feel like throwing up,” answered the old woman. “Oh, yes, son, can I see your face for a moment?” The young man was surprised but then smiled, “Yes, aunt, but why?” The old woman replied, “Let him vomit faster.”